tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80393074063612685052024-03-12T19:10:04.447-07:00beyond the desperate housewifeAiming for Better, not Perfect!beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-35964096767113895412008-11-25T23:43:00.002-07:002008-11-25T23:57:29.116-07:00<span style="font-family:verdana;">sometimes I just want to lay my head down and cry.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">When I was young all I could think about was having a husband, children..... It all seemed so simple so perfect in my mind. my children growing up so fast before my eyes... days flying by, my life as well and find the hardest part of being a mom is the guilt. Guilt of not spending enough time with each of them, working with my youngest instead of trying to find a place in the house where she is not....not taking them places, not buying them stuff...yelling to much, not talking enough....man it never ends.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I see comments...wonderful comments about how people adore their children their lives and I can't help but wonder is it all just for show. How do they have it right and all I feel is fustrated and tired.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I feel a never ending battle with getting my house clean its like its alive and as soon as I see the floor.....kaboom another mess.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I have been a mom for 18 years and a wife for 16...when will I figure it out???</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Where and when did I sign up for the kaos?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Did my mom feel this way?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Did I tell her I appreciated her for all she did...god I hope so.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;">deep breath</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></em><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I just want calm, boring, happy for a bit...can I please have that just for a few days please???!!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I am so afraid I will wake up one day, my kids all moved out and thinking I should have...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I know I am too blessed to be stressed but I think way too much worry far to much and just love and appreciate too little.</span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-16382832480124084292008-04-28T23:28:00.002-07:002008-04-28T23:51:25.229-07:00I once was lost...<span style="font-family:verdana;">Not found yet but working on it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I have been away from writting as so much has happened and seems so hard to keep on top of things.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">A wonderful thing has happened,my son has moved back. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">He has spoke about coming home for about a week, tired of living where he was and the kaos that lived there.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Everything came to a header when I received a phone call from the parent that owed the house. She informed me my son was in trouble and he was taken away in handcuffs.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">By the end of the conversation she hung up on me. I guess she didn't like what I said to her and what i thought of her. I really don't know if he did what they accused him of, I so need to believe he didn't. There has been no more evidence, so no charges will be pressed. I pray he is telling us the truth. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">My heart is still having issues, letting me get close to him, trying to be a mom.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Last night he came in about 1 am and started to talk to me. He had gone out after work and was happy from partying. I still can't wrap my head around my baby drinking, yet I was young too when my friends and I did it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">It is scary what are kids are faced with now. He spoke for some time telling me about drugs and what was out there. About the time someone slipped something in his drink and he was out for a full day.He seems so educated in the bad of the world and I am so iggnorant.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I totally understand one day all my children will move away, it just wasn't his time when he did.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Little sis is in heaven that her big brother is home. She can't wait till he's awake to go bug him.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Today what I saw brought a smile to my face as the sun was out and all my kids were outside playing in the yard. With them came their friends so how i missed that :)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Life has been so hectic these past few weeks, my cleaning of the basement has left me fustrated and overwhelmed more then once...where did I get soooo much crap!!! Hours and hours I have spent down in clutter hell. It will get done one day soon.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I miss my friends and know I need to step away from everything and do some catch up.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">well that is all for now...my writting is poor right now and I'm tired</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">good night </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-19118462599514476812008-04-11T10:08:00.002-07:002008-04-11T10:21:53.777-07:00Friday -again<span style="font-family:verdana;">man where does the week go?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I am doing everything in my power not to do anything..lol</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I have house work and a sale tomorrow, should be going through bins and I'm not</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">just don't want to do it, last sale I backed out at the last min....motivation where are you?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">So much as happened this week, guess that's why people post daily to prevent a massive all over the place post.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I am still working on me, loosing the weight, getting healthy physically and emotionally. I know I didn't get here over night , it takes time.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I stepped on the scale this morning...I am down another pound, 8 lbs lost in 2 weeks total of 21 pounds...so far to go yet but getting there.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Funny thing is some how I got this impression in my head I would look different, I don't, just a bit smaller...I need to get that flabby butt going to the gym to hopefully tighten things and reshape. I will start putting away for my tuck and lift fund....I want the extra skin GONE!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Before I get off the computer....I want to thank my TWO readers lol.who always support and comment on my blog. I love you both!! I do read your blogs frequently, I just suck on commenting and so appreciate you still leaving comments for me. I am here and supporting you too!!!</span><br /></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-64502716750139526462008-04-07T10:23:00.003-07:002008-04-07T10:40:26.139-07:00socially retarded<span style="font-family:verdana;">I really think I am. I have such a hard time saying the right thing anymore, being supportive when I should, letting people in.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">My biggest fears are loosing those I love or being hurt by them. I have had several friends that I grew up with hurt me the most, even to this day I feel like our friendships mean nothing.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I am torn between walking away yet the one friend always seems to understand some of the wacky things that go through my head. Yet I go out of my way to make sure I can attend every birthday party and family event...yet three times in one month she has let me down.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I always seeked female friends as eventhough I have a sister we are like night and day and her support for me just never was.It always about her and is often always all negative.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I am doing my best not to get like that, and set an example for my kids.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I love so dearly the new friendships I have made in the past few years and hope to do my best when they need me.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-80878876561844574482008-03-24T01:21:00.002-07:002008-03-24T01:33:58.622-07:00remember this is my negative blog!!<span style="font-family:verdana;">One thing I really HATE about myself is I let the actions of others affect me. Funny how certain events in life can bring you right back to the person I was 20 years ago.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I had(past tense now) a friend that we were very close when we were teenagers. I was there for her through some very rough times and great times....we were the type of friends that you could not talk in months or years and just pick up again....after all we have been friends for over 18 years.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">We had lost touch with each other for about 5 years....and I tracked her down and pushed her into signing up for facebook to keep in touch. More conversations on the phone and e-mails. I kept trying to persuade a trip to visit"soon" she promised.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">On Thursday I logged into my facebook to see her last post Headed to alberta, I'm so excited"</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Well She obviously wasn't planning on seeing me. And then another friend we used to hang out with posts all these pics of Their Easter get together.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I flip right in to teenager mode and I am sickened that she couldn't take a min to call and get together. Dumb I know.....I'll be over it in a day.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Some people never change. SHe was always the type to do this, unreliable yet everyone loves her.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Don't know if I need friends like this in my life anymore, I really think I deserve to be treated better. I have great friends that I have made here, really don't need to waste time on people who don't care enough about me in the same way I care for them.</span><br /><em>(big sigh)</em><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-91579346784901022612008-03-11T18:16:00.003-07:002008-03-11T18:30:37.700-07:00givin my head a shake!A <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">tattoo</span>, from arm to arm another from hip to neck, wanting to open a night club, no more plans to go to collage or university.....a trip this summer then one to the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Dominican</span>, and he <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">asks</span> my if I have his bio father's address as he wants to track down the sperm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">donnor</span> when he turns 18.<br />During supper my 17 year old walks through the door with roses for my birthday. Happy to see them even if <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">he's a</span> little late...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">lol</span><br />Then he proceeds to fill me in what he life plans are.....<br />part of me is stressed, the other part says not to take things to much to heart as he has already changed his mind from being a nurse (too much school) welder, joining the army, having a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">restaurant</span> to now wanting a night club.<br />How do you parent at this stage, I want to be supportive but the words escape me. I just nod my head and tell him to research it. It's great to have goals and dreams, but I'm left shaking my head.<br />He figures he will have a car and a truck by next winter.....could have if he keeps this job.....says he's going to have so many hundreds of thousands saved up to put a down payment to build a club.......o.k.<br />I totally understand he wants to find out why S.D wanted nothing to do with him for 18 years. I just told him yes he does deserve answers, but don't expect to much as he's walked out on his second family too.<br />I just don't want to see him hurt....but he does deserve answers heaven knows I never understood.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ahhhhhhh</span> what do you do?beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-69531252019776429472008-03-04T10:37:00.003-07:002008-03-04T10:56:37.770-07:00forgotten<span style="font-family:verdana;">I have been seeing a wonderful MT who also has a holistic approach on life and healing. Many things she has told me makes so much sense, but what I need to do seems far off and not what I feel I need.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I am not sure why I feel I need to have the approval of certain people in my life, why I seek appreciation, approval & kudos.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Time will heal old wounds and I need to make sure I give myself to my family in a way that makes them strong yet without making me weak.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Live in the present I am told, that is a hard one...so many things in my life <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">reflect</span> from the past.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I have been also told that as my body is healing I will feel worse, physically, emotionally. It is so hard to just let go but to get better I have to.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Yesterday was my birthday, it was a lot less <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">stressfull</span></span> then I thought. It didn't bother me like turning 37 did ....not much as changed in a year, still wearing the same clothing <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">unfortunately</span>, don't think I look too much different.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Facebook</span></span> has been fun, so many well wishes and calls from my friends made my day! As <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">for</span> family...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">hubbys</span></span> family took the time to drop a note or call :) then there is my side....2 out of 4 not bad I guess. My dad didn't bother, I try to shake it off and pretend it doesn't matter, and my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ungrateful</span> spawn didn't call. I am holding my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">tongue</span> because I am supposed to be the adult...ah the hell with <a href="mailto:it...f@#ken">it</span></a><a href="mailto:it...f@#ken"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">...f@#ken</a></span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ungrateful</span> little shit!<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">k done. Getting a stomach ache now :(</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Life goes on and so will i </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Love all my friends and family who took the time and cared to do so!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-32745242323215508602008-02-29T01:20:00.003-07:002008-03-04T10:37:32.269-07:00Broken<em>(this was written the other day, but didn't want to post it yet)</em><br /><br />I really hope it's either just the hormone thing, or the weather...but I feel broken. My body , my mind my soul.<br /><br />I hate to be one of "those people" who have nothing nice to say, but I know I am. I feel guilty for robbing my kids of a happy mommy.<br /><br />I really don't care to talk to anyone as I don't have anything nice to say.<br /><br />I'm unhappy and don't know how to get happy.<br /><br />I really don't remember the last time I was.<br /><br />I do know part of it is just being over whelmed. Part of brain tells me to go back to work, but really I can't. With hubby's new job, and business and all his commitments how can I? I don't want to put the babysitting v on the other two. Then the house work...I would loose it even more if I had to work all day and then come home to the reg crap...makes me shudder to think of it.<br /><br />I really don't expect much, I am understanding and realize that when hubby gets home from working and meetings and what ever he doesn't want to help out, but I can't help getting fustated as I feel like my life is one step short of being a maid. I am so sick of my house and the clutter and the unfixed stuff, I am so sick of him not wanting to have things fixed. I'm angry and fed up and really understand who women walk away from their families....not forever but man I need some days to regenerate.<br /><br />I know I just need to suck it up but I really need my husband to understand me right now and be there for me too. It's not easy being in the house day after day and have no one appreciate what you do...hello welcome to being a mom I know!beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-79762968422500502142008-02-20T00:13:00.003-07:002008-02-20T01:13:53.970-07:00Forever a mom<p>It always amazes me to see the different connection a mother has with her kids compared to a fathers. Now I know there are extremes in both cases, I have seen very good fathers with bad moms too.But can't help to think it's a bit diffent for most mothers. We carry and grow a baby inside of us. Most of us change everything we do and put in our bodies to ensure a healthy baby. The bond we have grows for 9 months before babe reaches the outside world.</p><p>With everything that goes on with J, his dad is so ready to walk away from him, but like I said to him I am his mom and I'll always will worry, care and love him till I am in the ground.</p><p>Having a trusting relationship is hard; I hear things from his friends that are different from what he is telling me.Two weeks ago I lent him money, almost $700 in total now, and not even a visit or phone call unless I initiate it.I admit I am not a strong person, my heart hurts and part of me so wants to needs to step away from my relationship from him right now.</p><p>J was my first born. I wanted him so badly, more then anything in this whole world. My 44 weeks of pregnancy was a combo of excitement of all the first experiences a new mom could have. I changed my career plans and focussed on him. I however also dealt with being alone when his sperm donor and x-fiancé cheated on me and married another women 3 months after I told him I was pregnant. I could have handled that if he didn't deny his own child! Then the fun of paternity testing and fighting for support.Don't get me wrong J does not owe me anything, that was none of his doing. It is just so hard to see someone you worked so hard to keep healthy and safe for 16 years just <a href="mailto:f@ck">f@ck</a> it up!</p><p>I am embarrassed about his behavior. My brother in-law offers him a great job, and pays him $15 an hour. Now he's messing that up. Work was on Saturday and his ride came to pick him up and he was a no show.He tells me someone slipped something in one of his beers and he didn't wake up until 9pm Saturday! Just great eh? Makes me sick to my insides.I am still hoping this is a phase, he will grow up and turn into a wonderful man with a successful life.</p><p>Praying for peace, for strength for acceptance don't let me give up on him!</p>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-281454890552481772008-02-11T12:44:00.000-07:002008-02-11T12:55:49.086-07:00spidysense<span style="font-family:Verdana;">As a women or a mom have you had that strong feeling something is wrong very wrong?Mine has been going off ever since I spoke to a cop friend last night. As I mentioned before I am nieve.Now after some educating I am freaking out.The family J is living with are not exactly the perfect family. I know the son steals and the house has been suspected of selling drugs there.The money I gave him was it for the car? Was it for selling drugs, or using?man my heart is going to explode.Oh god please help my son if he is doing this, I don't know what to do! Please tell me my son is not wasting the life I worked so hard to keep safe and healthy.</span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-45275392990177816122008-02-04T10:52:00.001-07:002008-02-04T11:23:08.521-07:00<p>Hubby and I have very similar views on how to raise kids, where we want to live and opinions on many things that affect our lives....but there are so many things that drive me to the point of .... I take it anymore.</p><p>One of the hardest parts of being married has been dealing with in-laws. Don't get me wrong they have so many good points but the issues that cause problems are ones that need to be dealt with. I feel it is hubbys place to say things as they are his parents. There are issues or things that shouldn't have been said, but he is used to them and just ignores it and says nothing.The problem with this is if things are not dealt with or changed, it turns into anger and upset that is sitting in my soul and they eat away at me.</p><p>I am the first one to admit I am naive.....the way I think things should be, is not the way things are. I always though the great thing about grandparents is their roles. The only job they have is to provide unconditional love and support to their grandkids.When J moved out and was making some inconsiderate choices. He chose not to do things with the family, my opinion normal teenage behaviour. </p><p>In sept was his birthday....you would assume his aunty and grandparents would still buy him a gift or a card a phone call.....nothing.Hubby's response to his family's actions, well J’s never around.He's a kid not an adult, they are the adults should they have least called him?</p><p>I am not sure why this is bothering me sooo much today, maybe having second thoughts on telling mom about what J did now. I don't want them telling anyone about it or judging him. The worst thing in all this not only am I still upset with them I am angry/hurt that hubby didn't say anything ...it is his son!!! Like he feels this is o.k. Yet I know they wouldn't do this to any of the other grandkids.It just makes me sick that they are teaching him...when you make mistakes or if you are a lost your family bails on you.</p>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-26654087020498554652008-02-01T20:50:00.000-07:002008-02-01T21:05:34.168-07:00My son will be the death of meHow can you tell my hubby is away hu??<br /><br />so the saga continues, J pops in for a visit.....here for 1/2 an hour humm didn't ask for money yet. I really don't mind giving him some if he doesn't ask...so I hand him $20.<br /><br />Then about 20 min later he begins to tell me he owes somone money and if he doesn't pay them back he is in big trouble. I guess this was when he bought the car.<br /><br />What do I do? I don't want to see him hurt, Yet part of me feels he needs to be responsible for his actions....I hand him over $500.00.....oh this is $660.00 now. And he goes off on his merry way.<br />I am so torn, is he scamming his mom, is he being hounest.....has he learned now? Or is he the black sheep of the family? I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't pay me back next week when he gets paid like he promissed? I'm his mom it's my job to love him, but if he lies to me I just can't do this over and over, I don't think I'll be doing him any favors.<br />funny you look at him and he is sweet looking, clean cut, dressed well and reminds me of the perfect con artist.<br />I want my baby, my little boy back again....man what could i have done different to have made him different?<br />Hubby's mad I helped him out.<br />I'm a mom, his mom, would mine have done anything different? I don't know.<br />I took T to the doctor...looks like he blew an ear drum.He'll be o.k.<br />After seeing J, I felt really sick and dizzy again from the concussion. I feel worse after stress and if I am tired. The doctor took some tests and was worried, I haveto go for a C.T scan. GREAT.<br />If there are prayers out there, don't pray for me, please say one for my boy to get his shit together.beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-65385939976099967672008-02-01T20:33:00.000-07:002008-02-01T20:39:11.815-07:00out of the mouths of babesO.K I admit it when I am angry I curse...not super bad, I always say FRICKEN...so did my mom when she got really mad.<br /><br />So tonight v.j is whiney and crabby as she needs to go to bed. I am waiting for some auctions to end and she is mad she isn't allowed on the computer. I put the swan princess on t.v for her in hopes she will relax and get ready for sleep. She is protesting saying she doesn't like it...<br />"mom, I saw this already, I don't like this Fricken show", I almost fell off my chair!!<br /><br />Brings back a comercial I saw....how would you act if you were on camera 24 hours a day...if you have kids you are, lead by example as kids will immitate what they see....ohhhhhh so true.<br /><br />Baaaaaad MOMMY!beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-83591716210205996382008-02-01T11:41:00.001-07:002008-02-01T11:58:17.052-07:00The other side, the other side,the other side of meHanna montanna fan? I know every song seen every show....yes I have girls<br /><br />I keep two blogs, it's almost like I am two, or want to express myself differently or be seen differently.<br />When my mom was healthy I shared everything with her, good, bad and everything inbetween. When I found out she was sick and going to die, my role as a daughter changed. From relying on her for strength, I know had to be there for her. I stopped sharing anything not so pretty, she dind't need that.<br />One thing I really disliked about my sister in the past was she focussed on the negative, she would go on for hours about how crappy everything in her life was. Understandable as her kids are not nice people and she has a hard life.<br />I don't want to be like that and one of the reasons I started a blog was to have some place to vent and realease bad energy. I created another blog to share good an positive in my life. Maybe it will be here too, but mostly vents and to do sanity checks...lol<br />I read a few blogs and I see extreams...the perfect family with the perfect husband...then I see the kaos...yeah someone like me!<br />We are not alone in Mommy/wife hell!<br />Funny thing the other day, I left this blog open and hubby was reading it, I was stressed, I don't want him to read it I felt uncomfortable, I'm not sure why. I don't hubby slam...YET. Just not sure if I wanted him to read about my inner self. Seems weird I know , we have been together almost 17 years.<br />I am unsure if I should link the blogs......or keep a low profile letting only a select few view my rubber room thoughts.<br />I am not always upset, angry or unhappy.I feel I just need a place to get it out so I don't end of sick or loose my friends to my constant bitching.<br />My happy blog link will be on the side...check out the other side of me too !beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-76907397346535857572008-01-25T14:02:00.000-07:002008-01-25T14:05:10.842-07:00lost teenager (long)When I remember my relationship with my Mom, the only thing that was really important to me was her unconditional love. She was always there when life was rough, sad or even better joyous.<br />One thing I always loved was that she would know exactly how i felt the moment I walked into the room.My dream the other night reminded me of home. My mom always had such a strong presence in this world and in our house. I could tell from the moment I walked in the house if she was home or not. That empty feeling was so evident the second I entered the house after her passing.<br />As a mom I am faced with so much more then Iever dreamed of. I have to snicker to my self when I see the frustrated, tired new moms at playgroup that complain about their lack of sleep or crabby sibling preschoolers.WAIT...till you have a teenager!I never imagined 17 years ago the worry and concern my son would bring me. The feelings of failure as a parent I must deal with.<br />I honestly don't know what we could have done different.Would things be different if I could take back what I said that day? Part of me believes that it wouldn't.<br />He was looking for a way out of our house and family for months...I just gave him one.<br />I know he is a good kid.He is well liked, and fun to be around, he just seems to be lost in his decisions he is making.<br />Yesterday morning I received a call from the alberta justice department looking for J.I found out he was charged with theft under $5000, driving under the influence and carrying a concelled weapon.I almost died, I could feel my insides shaking and had a hard time keeping it together. I so needed my mom, for her support.<br />I calmly called him and left a message"hi, just mom.Wanted to know how you were feeling (getting over the flu) and if you could stop by."<br />Before he came over I found out little brother knew about this for months! How do you get angry, yet I am.<br />I understand you need to keep the trust there but this was serious.<br />When he arrived I could hear the whole story. Oct 13th J bought a car from the family he lives with.Oct 14th the boy he lives with had a b-day party and J got very drunk. A friend needed a ride home and he decided to give her one. But I didn't mention there was no insurance on the car and the plates were stolen, not by J but by the roomie.After dropping the girl off , about a block from his home, he lost control of the car and slammed into a tree. When he gained consciousness he was greeted with police surrounding him with their guns drawn. deep breathThey pulled him out and arrested him. Discovering he had a pocket knife on him and the vehicle was not registered and the plates did not belong to him.<br />They took him to the hospital for tests to make sure there was no injuries or internal bleeding. They kept him over night and to the grace of god he didn't injure anyone else or himself.It kills me to think my baby was in the hospital by himself, that he asked them not to call me and they didn't. I am so mad...he's only 17 they should have called me.He said he didn't called because he thought I would freak out...ah duhhh...but I told him my main concern was that he was o.k...first...other stuff second.<br />I asked him how would he feel in my position and if his sis was in the same situation...would he want to be called?! that made my point.I also said it doesn't matter how much he messes up I am his mom first and I will always love him.<br />He has legal aid and has gone to court 4 times already. Because he didn't hurt anyone and this is his first offence he will be able to comply with some conditions of the court and prevent a criminal record. They also didn't press DUI charges or a few others, he is very lucky and he says he realizes that. I hope this is a wake up call for him.<br />There is nothing in this world worse then seeing the children you love more then life itself make poor decisions. To let them go into the world and let go. Let them make big mistakes and watch.beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-64911311471975916932008-01-25T13:50:00.000-07:002008-01-25T14:09:15.792-07:00another comment on parents<span style="font-family:verdana;">Watching stupid t.v and hearing people comment on the "spears children" and what kind of mom they must have.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">That is one thing I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">absolutely</span> hate is those people who blame things on the parents ( not saying some are not to blame)</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">...I haven't had anyone do this to my face, and I would never say it to another.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">It is usual <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ignorant</span> people who so far have "perfect" children who make that stupid comment.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">We have a child who is making poor <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">decisions</span>, one who has dropped out of school.......</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">We gave him what he needed growing up, I stayed home so daycare wouldn't raise him, loved him, didn't beat him, supported him, and did everything we felt we could do. Sometimes we all get a little lost and we all do stupid things...show me one human who hasn't.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I guess I am <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">naive</span> in this world...I still believe you shouldn't judge people <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">until</span> you walk in their shoes....it's not my job to judge ...it's GODS.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">done venting :)</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-46792330768154950732008-01-22T09:35:00.000-07:002008-01-22T09:49:30.147-07:00Out with the old...again<span style="font-family:verdana;">The new year brings so many promises and resolutions for many. I used to be pretty good at this as well.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">This year I made no promises just small goals to try and reach...I have been slowly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">decrapitizing</span> my home. Man where did all this shit come from?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">A lot...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ok</span> most of it is my fault, I sew, make cards, scrapbook, paint, collect fabric and clothing....and I keep starting small home based businesses.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I have managed to clean out my kitchen cupboards and remove 15 year old spices from the one. I have disposed of old appliances to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">freecyle</span> and my living room has stayed"non <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">embarrassing</span>...pretend your not home when surprise company shows" for weeks....proud of my self.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Bedrooms I keep starting . but they never get finished then quickly get <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">disastrous</span> again.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The basement is my next goal....<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">holey</span> crap looks like the house threw up down there! It is the dumping grounds for everything.To expose my shame I will post some before pics(after I have some afters to share)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">There are so many things I want to do with the house and never seem to get help to do them. I have always had the desire to have a little better, a change, nice things...hubby could care less.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I never could understand how you can watch things fall <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">apart</span> in your home and not give a dam.....<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">oopse</span> almost a hubby vent...I'll leave that for another day..<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">lol</span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error">Well I could go on...but I seem to get nauseated when I am on the computer too long (concussion side affects!) another story :)</span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-35230053281395541392008-01-19T02:13:00.000-07:002008-01-19T02:23:27.256-07:002 am<span style="font-family:verdana;">Yes it's 2 am and like many times during the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">early</span> morning hours I fight with the choice of climbing into a comfortable warm bed and getting a few extra hours of sleep...or enjoying the bliss of silence that in my house that only this time of morning will give.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I am and always will be a night owl. I enjoy reading blogs, yet I am <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">sucky</span> at posting comments. I love to look at designs,patterns and fabric sites, and yes the all famous <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">facebook</span> once in a while.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I really don't know why I do this to myself though, I will drag my ass all morning and accomplish nothing.....and tomorrow...later I need to get up early and attempt to nab that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Wii</span> from Toys r us for T who is dying from the anticipation of finally playing with the promised x-mas present. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I don't understand the hype, it drives me nuts to think of him sitting on his ass even more then he does already. Yet I know where he is and what he is not doing!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Oh and did I mention hubby is also a game fanatic.....so when he's off from work...can you guess what he will be doing?!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Wish me luck anyways, I am off to bed.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">goodnight</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-77818692299919025492008-01-17T21:24:00.000-07:002008-01-17T22:22:37.908-07:0015 years<span style="font-family:verdana;"><blockquote><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></blockquote>Today was both a day of joy and a little sadness. My second son turned 15 today...I am still in denial that I am a mom of two teenagers, almost three.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I remember the day he was born like yesterday......My hubby was working for city ,<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">night shifts</span>.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">J was in bed and babe was kicking up a storm all night. At midnight I felt like a pop inside my belly, but my water had not broke. At the exact same time I heard J wake up, I felt labor start...J all of a sudden was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">extremely</span> ill. He proceeded to vomit and poop everywhere. After changing his bed for the third time I figured it was time to call hubby and let him know I was a labour and I needed some help with J, I figured labour would take hours, so I wasn't concerned, but taking care of J was getting hard with contractions.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Right after calling hubby I let my MIL know we would be needing her to come over, but not right away, as Contractions were coming 2 min, 5, min, 7 min....very irregular. Something in my voice must have told her to come quick...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">lol</span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Within 1/2 an hour hubby had arrived home and 5 min after that the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">in laws</span> showed up...thank god!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">We left for the hospital within <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">mins</span>, contractions were on top of each other.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The usual things at the hospital, check in , monitors....I felt like I needed to sit in the bathroom.....I wasn't comfortable lying down. We were soon <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">transfered</span> into a delivery room. I remember having a shower and sitting on the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">toilet</span>..<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">lol</span></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">All of a sudden I felt the urge to push, hubby felt it was a good idea to get off my throne and move to the bed.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I tried hard to stay away from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">meds</span> and an epidural, laughing gas was just not a possibility. The contractions were far sharper then I had with J....they were intense and fast.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I was offered morphine, as a young mom I know I didn't ask enough questions back then, will it help, will it affect my baby? No it did not help the pain and yes it would I was to find out.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The delivery was quick 15 min and only a few pushes...who ever said once the head was out the shoulders will effortlessly slide out...had not met T before....his shoulders were huge!! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">T was born 4 hours and 15 min after my labour started. I was expecting to see a very large baby, I gained 45 lbs with him and J was 9lb 9 oz.....nope 8 lbs on the dot. When he came out he just stretched his body out and ...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">WHAAAAAAAAA</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Out of this little boy this DEEP voice....and LOUD! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The nurses proudly walked back into the room with him after a clean up and announce T had waken not one but all the babies up in the nursery.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Poor little guy was inconsolable, after effects of the morphine they told me, I still feel bad to this day about that.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">About an hour after he finally calmed down.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I was so happy to have another son a great companion for J.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I am so amazing to look back on T over the past 15 years. The young man he has become. He is kind and loving yet annoying like normal 15 year old boys. I am <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">beginning</span> to see that boys are very similar at that age, or mine are.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">They think we as parents know little, that they know everything, they are always tired when it comes to chores yet amazingly full of energy when their friends call to do something and above all BOTTOMLESS pits.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The past two years he has put on about 70 lbs and 8 inches and is proud to sport facial hair!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">He thinks it's great he can look down on mom and Pick me up.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">It's an odd feeling when your boys turn into men in front of your eyes.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">T has done a lot of growing in and out this year, but one thing still remains and I will hold on to as long as I can, he still loves to cuddle up to mom on the couch</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-21545576487263686782008-01-12T22:40:00.000-07:002008-01-12T22:54:41.024-07:00so Ungreatful<span style="font-family:arial;">Sometimes i look at my house and everything around me and complain.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">I get the days where I am basically unhappy about everything.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">Clutter has reigned over my life, my husband is as useless as warts on a boars ass when it comes to fixing things and my kids drive me nuts.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">What a horrible ungreatful human being I am!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">I know I am the only person responsible for being this way. I should do more with the house the kids.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">Why do I not see the wonderful things I have around me? I have wonderful friends, kids, a hubby who keeps telling me I am lucky because he doesn't drink, do drugs or beat me...lol and I have a home.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">It always bugs me that now that the three out of the four kids are getting older and I don't spend enough time with them or tell them I love them everyday. My mom was not like that, my dad wasn't either.It seems like there is a small part of me that is afraid to love them with all my heart because I am always afraid of letting them go or loosing them...something happening to them.Warped I know.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">It's the same way with hubby...there is a part of me that always holds back, don't let him know how much I really need him or how much I love him.....protection I guess, part of me is always afraid of loosing what I hold dearest in my life.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">I'm not sure if it goes back to loosing my first fiance(thank god I did now) and going through everything I did, or loosing my mom.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">Even when J left, I was so not ready to have my baby leave, I don't know how to be a mom to him right now, I feel like a failure.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">Everything that happens in our lives change us, whether we want it to our not.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">Sometimes it's easier to hold back and protect ourselves, but we really do lose something in the end don't we.</span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-55768123035641088082008-01-10T01:24:00.000-07:002008-01-10T01:57:33.346-07:00Out with the old in with the old<a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/R4Xc8YoE6MI/AAAAAAAAABc/CS9dKacLgd8/s1600-h/Jan2008+047+(Small).jpg"></a><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;">I remember being under 13 and thinking wow it will take so long before I am 14 so I can get my learners permit. Then at 15 remember thinking oh next year when i am 16 I can get my drivers licence...the next big thing 18, woohoo i can "legally" not that ever stopped me..lol drink. Next mile stone....21 and leagal in the u.s and get to go to Vegas with my mom....wohoo</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">Besides that the thing that seem the longest wait was that 40 weeks...sorry 42 weeks till my fist born came.....time seemed to move at a snails pace....but now the time just seems to FLY on by.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span> </div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">2008 wow </span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">News years resolutions, not this year not usually a thing for me. I have the same goal I have over the past year get healthy stay healthy teach my kids to be.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">This has proven to be quite a challenge so far, especially for V and I. I sware it's the cold from hell and it's dominions have set foot in my head and have made house!</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">My poor baby has been ill since the week before Christmas. I felt like mean mommy keeping her home from playschool and playgroup. She keeps telling me she will never get over the fact I made her miss all her Christmas parties.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span> </div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">Between fevers reaching 104, not eating or sleeping through the night it's been a nightmare.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">V absolutely refuses to take any meds what so ever, so not only does she suffer, everyone around her does as well.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">We did manage small break at christmas, not perfect but well enough to enjot gifts and I did manage to cook for 15 on Christmas day.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">Just when I thought she was getting better, Monday hit with gooy eyes with eyelids fused shut with yellow gunk....then another fever and restless sleep. I sware I got kicked in the head 20 times that night...oh did I mention she won't sleep in her bed.Misery loves company they say!!!</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">Today looked better, she finally ate some food, was playing but I notice she was itchy and scratchy...HIVES! From what...no clue.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">I give, I give mercy, Uncle....aunty......Your my daddy!!!! </span><span style="font-family:Arial;">when will it end ..for her, me?!</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;">I am so hoping Jan will be like march....in like a lion....so need a lamb!!!!</span></div><br /><div></div><span style="font-family:arial;">(Not quite her finest picture...my poor baby)</span><br /><a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/R4XdKooE6NI/AAAAAAAAABk/w7nSEVR6EDY/s1600-h/Jan2008+047+(Small).jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5153768523369343186" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/R4XdKooE6NI/AAAAAAAAABk/w7nSEVR6EDY/s320/Jan2008+047+(Small).jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></div>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-28986557614209314792008-01-05T00:09:00.000-07:002008-01-05T00:16:43.903-07:00a prayerAfter reading my friends blog, I am sitting here litteraly crying my eyes out. My heart breaks for her as she lost her little one.<br />I am beyond words, I am beyond knowing what to say to her, I just hope she knows despite her strong desire to push people away from her, I will always be there for her.<br />I find my self sitting here feeling guilty, for not being able to truly understand what she must be feeling , yet as a mom of 4 it would have been and still is one of my worst nightmares.<br />I found my self very hesitant to speak with god or ask of god anything, I feel unworthy, but if a prayer asked by me to heal her broken heart can be answered, I would be forever greatful.beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-41275579782821340322007-05-13T02:07:00.000-07:002008-01-10T02:01:15.538-07:00Mother's Day<div>I felt anxious all day and almost forgot it was mothers day(haven't slept yet).....<br /><br />Almost 5 years ago (on June 11) I lost the most important woman in my life, my mom.<br /><br />I was so blessed to have a mom who I adored, someone who was my best friend and someone I strive to be, even half the mom she was to me.<br /><br />I still miss our daily phone calls, sometimes an hour sometimes just a min to check in. I am thankful it still hurts this much because I never want to forget her.<br /><br />If you haven't called your mom today...please do...I hope everyone that still has there mom on earth with them can be with them today.<br /><br />Need to cry now hugs<a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/R4Xer4oE6OI/AAAAAAAAABs/F4QyQbarm24/s1600-h/Untitled-114.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5153770194111621346" style="WIDTH: 179px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 261px" height="277" alt="" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/R4Xer4oE6OI/AAAAAAAAABs/F4QyQbarm24/s320/Untitled-114.jpg" width="178" border="0" /></a></div>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-1819958248383604952007-05-06T18:45:00.000-07:002007-05-06T19:02:16.557-07:00aughhhh! Hate it when ....<span style="font-family:arial;">My hubby works night shifts!!!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">after so many years of having hubby work days , then having to adjust to shift work aughhhh it's so hard!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I think my mommy brain shuts down .....</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">The toddler who out of the blue decides to fall asleep on me last night and wakes me by drenching me and the couch in pee! and the moody pubescent girl who's brain is started to blank out most of the time....and the ANNOYING 14 year old who does his best to make the bladder challenged toddler and the MPG scream at every opportunity, not to mention that he has to imput on everything that is said if it is wanted or not.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">DEEP BREATH</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">Yes I love them...but they are driving me to LOOSE IT!!!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;">venting done..(tried to find a picture of mom pulling her hair out, no luck :)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8039307406361268505.post-50278333045827870442007-05-04T15:19:00.000-07:002007-05-04T15:28:39.891-07:00Rain.. rain go AWAY!!<a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/RjuzX_KOHhI/AAAAAAAAABM/f7XIr-65UXE/s1600-h/Bug+Flower.jpg"></a><br /><div><a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/RjuzJfKOHgI/AAAAAAAAABE/eL81Z8ZysvQ/s1600-h/Bug+Flower.jpg"></a><br /><br /><div><a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/Rjuy6fKOHfI/AAAAAAAAAA8/MTfAWxN45Nw/s1600-h/Bug+Flower+(Small).jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/Rjuyu_KOHeI/AAAAAAAAAA0/8HfumEmTtDQ/s1600-h/Raccoon.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5060835126578912738" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 124px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 180px" height="282" alt="" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_444WabLd0m4/Rjuyu_KOHeI/AAAAAAAAAA0/8HfumEmTtDQ/s400/Raccoon.jpg" width="237" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>It must be the weather ..again...I have been trying to move my butt off this computer for hours now.......Does anyone know how to hook up electic shock therapy to a computer chair?<br />So everytime I sit...ZAP!!! cure the compusion! lol<br /><br />I have to get ready for another "i've outgrown it sale" tomorrow...eeesh...should be fun loading all my crap in the rain!!!<br /><br />k...I'm done.....wish I could kick my own ass to get it moving!!!<br /><br />Wish me clear weather for the morning please!!<br /><br />:)</div><br /><br /><div></div></div></div></div>beyond the desperate housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881343543002155041noreply@blogger.com0